I have started a relationship with someone who was at first my best friend, he still is, but it is only as our relationship has developed that I learned how (for lack of better words) deep he is in being a dom. We at first both stated we did not want relationships mine because I had stuff to work through, him because he wanted casual sex and to simply just to casual play with playmates. I am very much a greenhorn when it comes to this whole world. More often than not I am upset that I’m so green compared to him. I know my personal likes: spanking; choking; hair pulling; physical manipulation meaning moving me around by my hair or by chocking etc.; pinching nipples and biting hard; biting in general; marks being left whether by spanking, biting, hickeys and the like; being talked dirty to by calling me names like slut, whore, just a place for me to put my cum, etc.; being pinned by my hands; handcuffs/handcuffed; anal; being used for another’s pleasure because it gives me pleasure. While it is a small list I have been told in prior relationships and just normal life that these are very very vanilla things. So when recently discussions have begun to lead towards more sexual and play, I still hold that idea I’m very very vanilla. However, my person (who is an experienced dom) has more of a list than I do of what he likes, UNDERSTAND I like all the things on his list as interests I want to experience but I never have. So I’m nervous for a few reasons: I do have mental health issues that I work through with daily medication and weekly therapy; I am a BBW (although usually feeling less of the beautiful because past trauma); my greenhornness; hearing his past conquests (lack of better word) where he seemed less concerned for their mental health as a priority; I think that I am a sub/brat and doing more play will help my mental health.

My whole issue is I’m worried I won’t be enough for him, whether that be my unwillingness to do certain acts like groups/threesome/orgy. And he has those things on his list of interests so I feel like I’m letting him down. Additionally I have many things I want to try and idk. I guess it all comes down to am I good enough? I’m not sure what I’m asking for help with maybe reassurance or just tips on understanding things better. I’ve been reading up on as much as I can and ask him questions when I’m confused or trying to understand and he is very good to me and patient as I try and figure it out.

Just a disclaimer because my post could make my person painted in a negative light. He is not by any means! He is very caring, supportive, helpful in my questions and just normal life. I am to understand this is part of the whole dom style/motif. But I need help to be a better sub and just not so worried.