Sundays always seem to be the worst days for me. It's the end of the weekend and my mind just recaps everything I did wrong or what I didn't do right. I feel like I have so much to do but no time. I worry about the work week to come. I remember that I hate my job and it's a deadend but I'm too trapped. I can't escape. I remember I'm just not that good at what I do. My confidence is gone. I'm paralyzed in fear. All my emotions and thoughts seem to pour in as I've suppressed them the entire week. I realize I drink too much to avoid my problems. I realize I didn't eat very well or work out enough. I feel overweight and unattractive. I think about my ex and how things ended. I miss her and hate her at the same time. I even think about my previous ex. What did I do wrong? What's wrong with me? I just want someone to talk to but I can't unload my shitty thoughts on them. I feel like time is slipping away and I've fucked up. I'm scared I'll turn into some creepy loser. A failure. Maybe I already have. That's my biggest fear and I've somehow done it to myself. My friend pointed out that I'm a glass half empty kind of guy. A cynic. I try to mask it with sarcasm and jokes. That's what I feel like, a big pointless joke. I need a drink. I know I shouldn't but its the only comfort now. I know it makes it worse. My weekly pity party is at an end and now I have to pretend everything is fine.