Vent/Realization

During the past few months it started to became increasingly obvious to me that my self image is kind of messed up, and I really don't like it. Thing is, up until a few years ago I didn't think I am unattractive. Apart from having strabismus (no lazy eye) but no money to fix it, I kind of have the face I wanted to have as a teen. I didn't think I am too attractive either, but I was content. I found my own style and got some nicer clothes now that I am 20 and it's unlikely I get any taller.

Then life. I went to an all boys high school and trained martial arts in my free time, so I thought only having one relationship during High School wasn't that bad. But since finishing there I got rejected and rejected again and told that I am ugly. I also tried Tinder with the same results, during the year since I use it I've barely managed to get on three dates and got about a dozen proper conversations in total. Most of them simply unmatched me after I asked them out, some even after agreeing to a date.

So really, right now I don't know how to feel. I still have the same looks, with some flaws which cannot be fixed yet, but what I overall thought was okay. At the same time I also hate my looks, because I have the reality of no woman wanting to touch me with a ten feet pole. And I really don't know how to put the two together and accept reality without turning to resent myself.

I dunno, I just wanted to say it out, sorry for the lack of happiness and sunshine. Any advice, maybe?