I guess I’ve hit that point in therapy where I’m second guessing my therapist. In session it seems like he cares, but why would he? I’m just a business transaction. I’m fairly sure that if I stopped coming to appointments or just abruptly stopped making appointments, he would never reach out. He’s super strict with boundaries. If I even said, “hey, considering ending therapy” and I was clearly in need of more help, I would reckon he still would just be like, “great! Glad you found whatever you needed then. Byeeeeeeee!” Probably would justify it as letting me lead my own therapy. And it makes sense. He isn’t my friend and it isn’t healthy to be friends. But it just feels like I can’t trust him enough to help me when I know he won’t actually care unless I’m paying him to care.
I don’t know, these are some thoughts I get some time in the back of my mind.