This is a bit weird, or maybe it's not. First time I tried therapy 6 years ago I was in therapy only 3 months and then just packed up and moved abroad. I wasn't ready and I spaced out without even knowing it. When I came back I asked to see her again even though I barely remember her or what we talked about. She's gonna retire this year so she referred me to my current therapist. Who I've been working with for 8 months.
I know they know each other from being in a supervision group together. And my old therapist is also my current therapist's back up when my therapist goes on holiday etc. Previous holidays I was fine, but for this upcoming one we've decided I need to see a back up. And I'm okay with it being my old therapist. But man, it's strange. I asked my therapist via e-mail to help me with this, so I won't back out and say "nevermind I'm fine" because that's my thing. I don't wanna take up time and space. So I withdraw and say I'll handle it all on my own.
My therapist heard me and she listened. And now I feel weird about it. Ha. Last session she was like "so, you want to do this?" and I was like "yeah ok" and she was like, "okay, then we're gonna do it like this and this and you're gonna call to make the appointments before I leave"
And at the end of session she again said "So, I want you to have set up the appointments before we see each other next week." and she's never ever been this directive before and it's really weird to me. I don't know how I feel about it. I know it's absolutely what I need but it's weird. Nobody ever tells me what to do. And obviously I can just not do it and tell her next session I changed my mind. That would be fine. But I've not changed my mind, I want to do it. But it's really really difficult for me, I hate phone calls. And so now there's the extra pressure of "my therapist told me to do this".
I just don't know how I feel about this, I don't feel anything negative about it I think but it is a weird feeling somehow.