I'm 34 years old. My entire adult life I've struggled with basic daily routines and doing the basic daily things. I can't even explain the level of struggle. So many good intentions all the time and no follow through because of memory issues and fear and then spacing out and wanting to just sleep/do nothing.

For whatever reason I'm currently experiencing some sort of relief in this area. Nothing major, but I've never been able to SO EASILY make good decisions about dinner or breakfast or bedtime or tidying. It's the strangest thing to me. It's such a small thing yet so huge. I've never ever been able to do this before, no matter how many good intentions I had. I'm not asking a lot of myself at the moment and I don't have grand plans to improve my life beyond just making it to work and therapy.

I've been feeling this way a bit over a week. And I'm even a bit anxious posting this because I've been waiting for this to pass and for me to revert back to how I've always been. But so far it seems to stick. I don't know what this is really. What is happening? This isn't even an area we've talked about in therapy at all.

I think there's more space inside me and at the same time I'm able to live in a bigger space? Like, the time that I experience is more than the present moment only. It's the present + a few hours. The way I relate to people is not just locked inside myself. Now it's a circle in which I fit, and I let my T in for a short while the other day. And I've been slowly blurring the lines with other people, stepping in and out of my circle to have a joke or ask for a promotion.

Sorry. Long ramble. I just don't know what's happening. It's good so I'm not complaining, but I am scared I'll lose it.