Weekly Type Me Thread - November 13, 2020

First time I took this test I got INTP then ISTP & most recently INFP. I think I’ve always identified w/ INFP but I’m not imaginative & I don’t have a complex internal world. I don’t know what my internal world looks like and my head is just empty most of the time. Maybe it’s the anxiety or depression. My enneagram went from 5w6>9w1>6w5.

I’ve always been shy/quiet but was still bold+adventurous(?) with friends (as a kid). I had a few crushes growing up and I remember “giving up” on one cause my friend liked him too. I was so sad but pretended I didn’t like him anymore lmao.

I used to believe in soulmates (and maybe I still do?? I’m just not in touch with that fantasy world now as an adult).

Like I had 1 best friend and then a few close friends. And my best friend was like irreplaceable to me. I’ve always felt like I would only ever have this 1 best friend in life and I guess that’s why I struggle with opening up and trusting people now. Everyone in my family knew about my best friend and would constantly ask about her, and they still talk about her and ask if we keep in touch now (we don’t).

My best friend and I went to the same school and she was the first friend I ever made. We remained close until she moved away to a different (private) school when we got older. I think her parents wanted her to focus on education even though she was really smart and a top-3 student. I was a top-10 student but I never really tried or had anyone pushing me or worrying about my school life or grades. My mum was pretty absent for most of my life (due to illness) and my dad remarried and wasn’t really interested in what I was doing cause he trusted I would behave and get good grades without their attention. My sister on the other hand was a “problem child” in that she couldn’t focus on school work and got bad grades so they had to get her private teachers. I’m interested in finding out what her MBTI type is too btw. She’s an extrovert and I’ve typed her as ENFP but I have no way of knowing for sure. Maybe I’ll write about her a little later in the post.

But moving on! :D

When my best friend moved to a different school I was devastated and just hung around with random people but then she transferred back and we started exchanging letters for some reason. I think we both found it awkward to just start talking normally she was very popular and still an overachiever and I had made new friends that I wasn’t really close with. In those letters, she wanted to know if we were still best friends and said I was still her favourite and to be honest I was so happy she hadn’t forgotten about me and still liked me. I think I might’ve cried or at least teared up. We just kept exchanging letters like that but could never hold an actual conversation in person for some reason, it was just awkward af. Even though we were basically professing our love for each other in those letters lol... I think this had to do with our attachment styles.

The last time we met was at her house when I went to her birthday party and she invited all the popular girls and I don’t even remember what I got her or what happened but when I got home my mum and siblings were angry at me and said they’d been looking for me everywhere. I was feeling kind of empty on my way back for some reason. I still don’t remember what happened back then cause it’s been a long time but that was our last meeting. It’s been over 10 years but I think I might miss her a little?? Or miss our friendship or just having a friend?

Anyway, she still gets brought up by family members but I’ve moved to a different country and deactivated my Facebook account years ago so we haven’t stayed in touch.

I did find her Instagram account recently though and it says she’s a medical student now. I’m so proud and happy for her but I don’t think I want to reach out. For a number of reasons.

But going back to my sister, she used to be super outgoing but still shy around adults/strangers. To be honest, we weren’t really close growing up. Partly because our dad and his family would always compare her to me and like belittle her. I always felt bad. And I think that fostered a type of inferiority complex in her.
Even now as adults, she still thinks she’s not as smart or capable as me but she is so wrong. She’s so incredibly smart and intelligent. She’s good at socialising and knows how to get what she wants. Like she’s really good at convincing people to do things for her. I used to call her manipulative when we didn’t get along in our teens. She’s 3 years older by the way.

I wish I could help her overcome that mindset of giving up on academics or “smart” things like reading and learning (and stock exchange) because she’s been told she’s dumb all her life. She doesn’t even allow herself to try and thinks that she’s too dumb to do anything and wants me to do all these “smart” things and then teach her. Like stock exchange. I don’t even know what stock exchange is but she wholeheartedly believes I would be able to pick it up in no time and somehow succeed in it. I have no interest in that by the way. I fell into a deep depression in my late teens and didn’t even make it to uni. But she still somehow believes I’m the smartest person ever and wants me to go back and get an education. I can’t. I physically cannot. I don’t think I ever enjoyed school or learning I just got good grades cause I paid attention in class. And my sister still made it to university by the way, she just chose to drop out cause it was expensive and we were struggling financially, and in a different country.

She used to be such a social butterfly but now she’s insecure and has no hope for the future. She put all her hopes in me and I let her down.

Not sure if this is enough to type her so I’ll try to add more.

The reason we didn’t get along was that she’d always share her secrets with me and I would tell on her. I regret doing that but I was young & dumb. My family instilled this weird compulsive honesty in me at a young age and basically brainwashed me by saying things like “Siactyme is so honest/smart/generous/etc” and I just felt compelled to be that and played along. And that cost my sister her self esteem.

When we were in our early/mid teens she told me she had a crush on her female teacher and my dumbass went and told my aunt and then she told my father and probably everyone (it still haunts my sister; one of the reasons I think she’s an ENFP).

My father was so angry when he found out and moved her to a different school and then she started going out with friends from her old school and meeting boys and stuff and I don’t know what happened after but my father was always angry at her and watching her every move. Anyways. Now that I think about it, she was always prone to these weird romantic obsessions. Like the female teacher crush she would fantasise about kidnapping (I know that’s weird :/) and doing sexual stuff with her and stuff. And we (me and my brother) were all weirded out (adults weren’t around). She was a very edgy teen you could say.

And then she had a crush on a 30-sth adult family friend and she wouldn’t stop talking about him. She stole my aunt’s phone and called the guy’s sister and asked for his number. And she got it. And she somehow managed to start a relationship with him. Over the phone at first and then they met in person which was all very weird to witness.

The adults eventually found out and this was all before a very important entrance exam so my father and my mother’s side of the family had to meet and come up with something cause it was getting serious. She was planning to elope with this guy. She wasn’t even 17 at the time. But yeah. I think things calmed down after a while and she was still dating him when she got accepted into uni. They only broke up when he started comparing her to other girls & making her insecure/bringing her insecurities to surface. Another reason we didn’t get along back then was that she accused me of having a crush on her 30-sth y/o boyfriend when I wasn’t even 13 -_-‘ I guess she was just insecure/going through some things cause when I confronted her about this recently she said the guy would flirt with her friend when they went on a date together and the whole relationship just made her insecure. She still has this obsessiveness now where she randomly has a crush on people she’s never met or barely seen once and she can’t stop until she finds them and tries to seduce them. She once had a crush on a guy in a YouTube video interview and she managed to find his Facebook and then found out he was gay. She had a mental breakdown over this like she was crying so hard over this man she’d never met. That’s just one of her past obsessions I can think of.

I typed her as ENFP and she recently did the enneagram test and got 6w7. No idea how accurate these are.

She worries about her image a lot now, and whether people are talking about her behind her back. She values tradition but at the same time wants to rebel and try dating a woman. She wants to do so many things but she’s holding back cause of her image and faith. She’s not religious per se but she believes in god and doesn’t wanna do something that could land her in hell later.

The reason I think she’s an ENFP is because she fits the description of an unhealthy ENFP quite a bit. I know what functions are but my brain refuses to absorb all that info. Like the difference in how functions work in each level and stuff. Depression ruined my memory tbh so I can’t focus on stuff or learn things properly :/ Or maybe I’m just not interested enough.

I hope what I wrote was enough to type me and hopefully my sister. I recently discovered how much she means to me even though we didn’t get along for most of our lives. She’s always believed in me and supported me. She’s not a bad person. She just went through some bad things and was a victim of her circumstances.

/r/mbti Thread