I'm 80% certain of my type being 9, but ever since I came to this conclusion, I still have my doubts. When I take the eclectic energies enneagram tests, I frequently get 6w5, 5w6, and 1w9 as my top results. Sometimes, I get 9w1 as a result but not the top. I've read The Complete Enneagram from cover to cover and found that I very much related to the descriptions of self-preservation 1 and 9, as well as social 6. I settled on 9 in the end because I lack a core identity and can relate to all the types in some way. Essentially, I can morph into every type in terms of behavior (and not core motivation) depending on the situation. However, my doubt arises from the fact that I'm not always asleep to my needs, and I can stand up for myself when I need to.
A bit of background info on me: I'm a woman in my early 20's trying to get through grad school in STEM. I have generalized anxiety disorder and have been going to therapy for the past year for that. I used to think that I was type 6 due to my anxiety and frequent catastrophizing, but after learning about cognitive distortions, a lot of my anxiety and distorted thoughts went away. I was also considering type 1 because I have the ambition to do well in school and be the best in my class. I study very hard in my classes and often go above and beyond in doing my assignments and projects. Perfectionism manifests in me when I want to impress someone, whether it be my professors or my peers. I also want to show my family that I'm able to pursue an advanced degree. No one is pushing me to do this -- it's driven by my pride and ambition.
Now, I'm going to flesh out my reasons for each type:
9 - Like I said before, I lack a core identity. I like maintaining peace internally and externally. My ideal environment is just me alone with my computer or a book and some music. I do consider myself to be quite withdrawn, but I sometimes question if that has to do with having social anxiety, so I protect my state of mind by not interacting with people much. People have described me as nice, sweet, and quiet as that is most likely how I appear to others. I have a naturally soft voice and an endomorphic body. My movements are quite slow in my natural pace, but I can speed up if someone asks me to.
6 - I have an active mind. I don't always relate to the sloth that is often attributed to type 9. I'm a natural troubleshooter when it comes to my work in STEM. I can come up with many questions to ask during lectures due to a mind that's frequently questioning the information I get. I am also quite skeptical of other people and have a hard time trusting someone immediately. I have mixed feelings about people when I'm stressed out and feel like they have an agenda to get me. When that happens, I have to talk to the person directly to make sure that we are on good terms. A lot of this doubt and skepticism was very prominent in me when I was in high school. I sort of outgrew this mindset recently with the help of therapy, so I don't know if this is still considered part of my core if it was in the past. I am also dutiful and make sure to complete my tasks on time. However, I don't feel the need to form alliances. In fact, I push people away more so than trying to warm up to them. In high school, I was also somewhat of an outcast, so I didn't feel a sense of community. But I really wanted to be a part of one.
5 - I think I get this result on tests because I feel like I'm aloof and withdrawn. But I don't relate to the core motivations of type 5.
1 - Last but not least. I'm the eldest child in my family, so I naturally take on a lot of responsibilities. I like when things are in order and when there are rules to follow so that there are no surprises. I like making to-do lists and I'm enthusiastic about self-improvement. While I like controlling myself to be my best, I don't extend this need to control to other people. I don't care much about what other people do, if they follow the rules. I'm more concerned with myself more than others.
In addition, I think my main fears are being deprived of basic amenities, losing my loved ones, and not living up to my own standards.