I'm currently going through the hardest heartbreak of my life (bar might be low ? I hope not). I have no experience (well, "almost no" now I guess) with girls for a variety of reasons, but they all pretty much stem from me spending my childhood and adolescence rotting in front of a computer. I'd say (and others do say) that I'm decently attractive and... well it worked last summer.
New girl at work, we flash on one another immediately. But an hour into our first date she tells me she still has a boyfriend, and here began a 3 months long dance of her "leaving" her boyfriend but keeping me at bay at the same time, but a couple times getting really close (which ended up in kissing).
Now she's told me she's getting back with her ex, has made up her mind weeks ago and is sorry for playing me like this.

And I feel like absolute shit because, while *something* was going on I was, mentally speaking, on a positive trend, but now that's been shattered. I can't stop thinking about her, her ex(s) that got to have that special relationship with her, but more than that the fact that I missed out on so much of my young life. I've just reached my "mid twenties" and it feels like I'll never be able to be satisfied with myself, what I've accomplished on a sentimental level. Anytime anybody talks about any kind of love / sex they got / get to have during that time something breaks in me.

Dating apps don't seem to work for me, I live not far from Paris but I get no likes at all. I go out every once in a while (I'm quite extraverted at work so I get involved in something with them on average once a week) but it's always pretty much a sausage fest. At this point I can't manage to focus on much else, I can't stop comparing myself to others and feeling so. goddamn. jealous. and angry at the world. Am I going to have this hole in my heart my entire life or will it go away with time ? Or perhaps when I finally get to experience real, reciprocated love ?