I have bipolar disorder. The last time I was admitted, I was restrained for hours out of precaution and that seems to be what they do when they are trying to asses your situation. A nurse watched me as I tried to convince her that I posed no threat but she wouldn't listen or talk to me because I was in the middle of a psychotic break basically, talking really fast not making any sense.

It is horrifying to have your arms and legs tied down and having no one listening to your reasoning but looking at you with caring eyes. It pisses you off beyond reason so you end up staying there even longer until you admit absolute defeat, after crying and screaming so much you can't talk anymore.

Then you are there for what seems like hours. It's the middle of the night and you are scared shitless. Being that misunderstood is terrifying but you don't realize that they are just trying to help.

Later on after things have been situated and you have been injected with things that you don't understand or don't believe in at the time, you get to go to your room and rest on a hospital bed exactly like the one you were just restrained on.

The next day you are asked numerous questions continuously. It seems never ending.

You meet a bunch of different people, make different friends. They don't even know themselves at the moment either so you can relate.

The days are unfuckingbelievably tedious. You talk about your problems and you do groups. I still have some of the papers. I could go on about them. You play games that a ten year old would get bored of. You don't get to go outside. You don't get to open a window. You don't get to breathe fresh air. You don't get to smoke. You get to watch the people on break smoke beneath your window though.

You later find out things about your new friends as the days go on that you wish you didn't know. You become distant and it hurts because you felt a connection with them. You can't do anything for them anymore because it's up to themselves and you have to focus on getting better.

Solitary confinement, restraints, being locked inside your own head questioning your existence and wanting to die happens.

Does any of that sound appealing to you? It's alright to be curious and obviously everybody's experience is different, but you do not want that to happen to you. I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

Honestly you should value how much freedom you have and appreciate the people around you. We take so many things for granted and you shouldn't have to go through things like that to realize it like I did.

This isn't meant to scare off people from seeking help either, the staff was as nice and understanding/helpful as they could be at the time and there are many different places to be taken to, I just didn't really get the best one.

This is just from the perspective of someone who had to be involuntarily admitted.