I'm starting an orientation / shadowing / training sort of thing next week, with a job to follow in the absence of disasters. For some reason, this is not encouraging. It reminds me of the first couple months of 2014, or a few weeks into Prozac: technically better, you might be able to point out some quantifiable improvements, but nothing particularly meaningful comes of it, other than knowing it will go back to worse if you quit.

I've basically been in "the only way to solve / accomplish anything, at this point, requires time travel" mode. And even adding lots and lots of convenient perks to said time travel, I still keep running into the "OK, and how?" / "Now what?" problem.

It's hard to pin down exactly what I want? One of the most frustrating bits is that I want to do creative things that, in theory, should only require a functioning computer and relevant skills. Of course, those are insufficient, and I can't make crap. Presumably I need a "life" in order for mumble mumble neurochemistry mumble to cooperate. The best believable case for 2019 is a very slight improvement, courtesy the job thing working out. And that would basically be the baseline for the least awful parts of 2014, or the more awful parts of 2006-2007, which are synonymous with "the worst periods in my life.".

IDK, absent a genie who grants CEV, I see no hope for anything, and the future is likely to be "the present, but worse, because aging makes everything worse".