You know, when she said she's depressed too, I stopped and thought of it. And I can understand her. My father died 20 years ago and it was a catastrophe for my family. My grandma told me that she sometimes has suicidal thoughts because of that and I'm the only reason she lives (which is a bit weird as I also have a sister and an uncle!). So about 15 years ago my mother finally met another man only to see him die from cancer a couple years later (I don't remember those events clearly). Now she's getting married to a man she knew for more than ten years, and they've been living together 8 years. She has a pretty good job but she's unsatisfied with it, 'cause it pays not that much. Her mother has been belittling her since childhood and they've only recently kinda solved the issue (even though they live in different cities, my mother has always experienced scolding attitude). So I can totally understand why she may be depressed. And it fucks my mind. When I look around, I don't see a family, instead I see a bunch of people with their own problems and this makes me think that I don't have a right to be depressed. I have to help my relatives: I don't want my grandma to have suicidal thoughts! I'm a full grown man and there's no one for me to solve my problems anymore. I have to take care of myself and to take care of others, that's my responsibility. And now, all these thoughts make me feel even worse as I can't do any of this. Everything is pretty fucked up, I went to a doctor a couple of years ago, I took medicine but when I nearly killed myself because of it, I decided to stop. I live in Eastern Europe and psychiatric help here is not that developed. I just feel helpless and burdened. I know that the only person who can pull me up from this shit is me