I went against all the experts and sent my kid to her room during a meltdown

I found "meeting the child’s needs just 30% of the time is sufficient to create happy, well attached children. And that doing so boosts their resilience."

But it goes on to say "The final third of the time, which Tronick judged to be the most important for creating healthy attachment, is when parents are not initially in tune with their children’s needs but work to become attuned. This experience provides a safe experience of distress and resolution, which promotes general resilience.

The consistent theme running through both strands of research is that imperfect parenting is better for kids." So 1/3 in tune 1/3 not in tune 1/3 initially not in tune but working with their kid.

Saying "you only need to be perfect 30 percent of the time" seems a little off since there is another 33 percent (and an additional 3 percent) where you need to be working to find understanding, not just "70 percent mediocre parenting" as you went on to conclude..

/r/breakingmom Thread Parent