I get that. And I do see it and agree it does read like that, if you will it to. I can assure you it's not that like at all but it's the internet and words and tone get lost easily. Had I wrote differently, as I have in other forums, the replies I receive are full of, "you need to have more confidence", "you need to sell yourself more", etc. As soon as I make any reference to ratings or looks or opinions, the point gets lost with some who get too caught up this. That said, I do feel that to fully explain and rationalize the points made, it was necessary to include these. Obviously the point was missed with you and I apologize for not finding the right tone and words to convey them to you.

I don't go to these (clubs, dates, parties, M&Gs) thinking I will ever find a woman as hot as my wife - and I am and have been okay with this, after all, it's great to be married to the most awesome and most beautiful woman you know. We've been in the swinging game for almost five years and we've only met and played with a few who have come close. Not that we keep record but thinking back on it, that's fair to say. Still, it doesn't bother myself or my wife in the least. One, we are into compersion (not poly) more than anything else. If she's happy, I am happy. Two, we aren't in it for smoking hot bodies. While great to look at, we know that looks do not translate to fun. Three, I actually prefer a 'lesser-looking' woman because they always feel like they have to make up for their looks - they certainly don't but it's not like I am going to tell them to take it down a notch.

But really, the "anorexic, scary looking" part was truth. I mean, I know it sounds mean but if I showed a picture of her to ten people, I guarantee there would be at least nine in agreement. She was so brutally thin and fragile that she was looking close to death, it was extremely off-putting. The "Asian" statement was only used to differentiate with the blonde - not that blonde was better or Asian was better, just different.