I honestly feel bad for OP, as well. I mean we had some clashes on this sub in the past, but in the end, we had made good and we were cool with each other, so I was hoping the best for him because FA is a horrible, torturous life, and I wouldn't wish it on anybody.

But the problem I have is that when OP was here he was particularly unsympathetic to anyone who had ever had any relationship experience in the past. I remember when InStorage posted her experience here about being used for sex once ten years ago when she was a teenager and how it really fucked up her self-esteem, and how she hadn't ever had sex or any romantic experiences since then, and OP stated to her that he didn't know why she was treating being used for sex as a bad thing, and that for him it is a success story that he would kill for (as well as some other ugly comments he made).

In fact, there were many times on this sub when people (usually women) would state that they didn't want to just be used for sex like a cum dumpster, and he would tell them, hey, stop complaining, at least you have it better than me and many other FA guys, I would love to be used for sex.

So, now in this post OP seems to indicate that he feels even worse than he did before. So, does he realize that when he stated he would love to just be used for sex, that there can be some sexual/romantic experiences that will actually make you feel worse about yourself than before? Does he regret saying all those things at the time? And all his ugliness, all the ways he lacked compassion for others, and the numerous times he insulted people, does he even care about making that right?