I went to the INFJ's for advice, see the outcome.

\u\carc captures my sentiment really well in his/her answer here First I was mostly speaking in generalities and dishing out life advice. In my eyes, she stopped being mature adult the moment she lashed out in him. This sounds more like the first relationship where you don't know how to deal with the loss of that je ne sais quoi in your first love that deep down you realize won't ever come back and change your outlook on life forever, but still try to cling to it hoping that past can resurrect it. By putting himself in the position of asking for forgiveness excessively and using non-rational reasons, he enables her to express her anger outwardly which is toxic to her. She needs space and time to make a rational decision and not be swayed by being portrayed as a victim. He is the one who did the mistake and she needs to figure it out for herself how she wants to proceed. Emotional anger is equivalent to physical anger. By enticing her to express it , at some level it will also make her feel guilty in the future that she expressed anger in such a way. There is absolutely nothing that can change the past, and people need to gain maturity to accept this fact and deal with problems head on and pragmatically without bringing emotions into play. There is no right person in this situation. Like you said before, I don't know the whole history and what ups and downs they went through, but what i can do is dish out general advice on how to deal with such situations in respectful and mature way. The love will get tested by more complicated situations like death, financial loss, etc. in the future. It is upto both the parties to inject that needed respect and support system in every situation to deal with downs of life as they come. Take care:)

/r/infp Thread Parent