Hey stranger...

So... Saw your note. And first just want to say... well I'm sorry.

I'm sorry that you're in pain too.

We thought this was supposed to fix all those hurts we kept feeling, again and again. Joints that were grinding together. Sharp pains out of nowhere that we'd quietly relive for days after. We thought we'd do this one surgery, and we'd be free of that pain, right? I mean you're the one who actually had to get your hands dirty. Which I'm sorry you had to do. At the time of course I couldn't see it.

But I think it did (will?) help. Hurts like absolute hell. But it's not like I curse your name through the pain. I "got it" with part of my brain. And the rest of the brain is catching up. Lots of time to think back with a different perspective.

You know how after surgery, there's an ache there? And you can't really make it feel good, and you can't scratch deep enough? It's been like that. And sometimes the only thing that could make me feel good at all is to exercise the hell out of that thing. Like going to the museum.

Like a physical therapist that makes you feel like crap but afterwards it actually felt better and helped a little bit. That's what I thought it would do. And it kind of was like that. I didn't want to go. But my soul's physical therapist said it would hurt, but help. Moving. Walking around. Going there of all places.

I have hope that things will get feeling better. For me, and of course for you.

I kind of have a feeling that I'll never heal completely, and I'll always have this twinge when I move a certain way. But that's ok. I don't really want to be back to "normal". I'll always, always remember. No way to forget now.

Trust me, I'm not that tough. And I'm not trying to pretend to be. Just trying to work through the pain to become more healthy.

Don't regret for one second the time we spent together. You have to know that. Definitely can see that I screwed up at times (but I wasn't the only one). Some things I'd get right again if I could do it over, but other important things I'd still get wrong. Two months can't change me that quick. But I mean I see the things that were screwed up. And I hope to change and fix those things at some point.

Be happy for me as you see my wounds healing. Sometimes they heal on the surface first. It sucks so bad. But I know it's for the best. I mean you didn't break up with me at the first sign of a storm, ya know.

Be happy for me. I'm not free of pain. I'm feeling the same thing you are (I think). Not upset at you. Still hurt. Still remember everything you remember. You just saw me getting some therapy. Because while I'll always remember the good, I want to work through the bad as soon as possible. At least I like to look at it that way.

I hope you get to the museum when you're ready. Don't wait too long. It'll help. Physical therapy. It hurts to move, but they say it actually helps us heal faster.

Hey stranger...

So... Saw your note. And first just want to say... well I'm sorry.

I'm sorry that you're in pain too.

We thought this was supposed to fix all those hurts we kept feeling, again and again. Joints that were grinding together. Sharp pains out of nowhere that we'd quietly relive for days after. We thought we'd do this one surgery, and we'd be free of that pain, right? I mean you're the one who actually had to get your hands dirty. Which I'm sorry you had to do. At the time of course I couldn't see it.

But I think it did (will?) help. Hurts like absolute hell. But it's not like I curse your name through the pain. I "got it" with part of my brain. And the rest of the brain is catching up. Lots of time to think back with a different perspective.

You know how after surgery, there's an ache there? And you can't really make it feel good, and you can't scratch deep enough? It's been like that. And sometimes the only thing that could make me feel good at all is to exercise the hell out of that thing. Like going to the museum.

Like a physical therapist that makes you feel like crap but afterwards it actually felt better and helped a little bit. That's what I thought it would do. And it kind of was like that. I didn't want to go. But my soul's physical therapist said it would hurt, but help. Moving. Walking around. Going there of all places.

I have hope that things will get feeling better. For me, and of course for you.

I kind of have a feeling that I'll never heal completely, and I'll always have this twinge when I move a certain way. But that's ok. I don't really want to be back to "normal". I'll always, always remember. No way to forget now.

Trust me, I'm not that tough. And I'm not trying to pretend to be. Just trying to work through the pain to become more healthy.

Don't regret for one second the time we spent together. You have to know that. Definitely can see that I screwed up at times (but I wasn't the only one). Some things I'd get right again if I could do it over, but other important things I'd still get wrong. Two months can't change me that quick. But I mean I see the things that were screwed up. And I hope to change and fix those things at some point.

Be happy for me as you see my wounds healing. Sometimes they heal on the surface first. It sucks so bad. But I know it's for the best. I mean you didn't break up with me at the first sign of a storm, ya know.

Be happy for me. I'm not free of pain. I'm feeling the same thing you are (I think). Not upset at you. Still hurt. Still remember everything you remember. You just saw me getting some therapy. Because while I'll always remember the good, I want to work through the bad as soon as possible. At least I like to look at it that way.

I hope you get to the museum when you're ready. Don't wait too long. It'll help. Physical therapy. It hurts to move, but they say it actually helps us heal faster.

-A true stranger.