All your feelings are so normal. Hubby and I have been trying for 4 years. My relative and her hubby have been trying for 9 years. It finally worked for them. Now they have beautiful babies. But 9 years of crying, shots, and lots of emotions. Don't give up on your dream. Sometimes things happen to us and we don't understand why, but if you're a believer of God, believe everything happens when it's supposed to at the perfect timing. This has helped me carry on. Hubby and I decided to become foster parents. It's been my dream since I was in middle school! We've had 17 amazing kids and have helped numerous parents get their lives and kids back. I think to myself that this is the path God wants me on. But deep down, I want one of my own so badly.. it hurts. I really get where you're coming from. Dont beat yourself up. If you have to take a little break and go on a nice vacation or visit the city then do it. Are you also in therapy? Seeing a professional is very helpful. Be kind to yourself and communicate with your partner. They are hurting too. Take some time for your self and your partner. Live a little and try again. Try a different dr if you have to. If it still doesn't work maybe just maybe consider a surrogate, adoption, or foster care. Adopting through foster care is pretty much free. I say this lightly because I know how important it is to have a bio and some people get offended when they hear the words adoption or surrogate. I am just trying to help. Gentle hugs.