Honestly, I don't think I'm going to. I'll try and give you the brief summary. My mom's youngest brother went through a nasty divorce a while back, and it has turned him into a hugely misognyistic, slightly racist alcoholic. My mom's sister and her 20-years-sober-recovering-alcoholic husband can't stand to be around my alcoholic uncle, so they use my cousin with a mental disability as an excuse to not fly out for christmas. My mom's oldest brother and his wife (child of alcoholics) can't really stand to be around my uncle either, but they've come out for my grandma. A few years ago, my shitty uncle and his 16 year old daughter got into a fight that culminated in her trying to stab herself with scissors and me having to separate them. After that, my mom's oldest brother and his wife stopped coming. Now it's me, my sister, my mom, and my alcoholic father, my alcoholic uncle, and my alcoholic grandmother. I haven't seen my cousin since that christmas because her dad lost custody of her after that. I still go because I love my parents and sister deeply, but I feel simultaneously angry with my uncle for all of the shit that he says and does, the things he's done to alienate my cousin, and the way he enables my grandmother's drinking and abandoned by the rest of the family, because they've all thrown in the towel and it's fallen on my family to make sure my grandmother isn't alone at Christmas. I resent them for not dealing with the shit like I have, because it means I never get to see them and I'm dealing with an unreal amount of stress. My grandmother's health is failing and it being "maybe Mimi's last Christmas" has been a stick that I've been beaten with for the last 5 years. I love my grandmother so much and I care about her greatly, which is why I put up with everything, but once she dies, I'm going to lobby my parents to skip christmas entirely and have us all meet up for a nice long weekend somewhere in like the middle of January. I'm sure I'll be able to reconcile with most of my family, but my uncle has done too much hurt our relationship and it may be selfish, but I really get nothing out of being around him now that he doesn't have custody of my cousin