Were you wearing a short dress? Feminists gonna feminist

So, I really debated about putting in this last part, as I don't think I've explained it well, but it's something that I thought might add to the discussion, so I'm giving it a shot.

For me, accepting this behavior as "fine" or "part of the social contract" also implies that I'm accepting things that I do not believe about men. In my mind, the more we act like this type of behavior is not a big deal, the more we make it sound like it’s "just a thing guys do". I don’t believe this. The vast majority of men don't grope women. The vast majority of men find that type of behavior disrespectful and wrong. The vast majority of men will get pissed if their friend, girlfriend, or sister (or boyfriend or brother) is groped. Just because they won't intervene on a strange woman's behalf doesn't make them any less good guys or any less guys that respect women. Knowing this and believing this is important to me. I am able to approach the vast majority of men that I meet (gropers excepted) from an optimistic and positive viewpoint. I don't know if I could do that as readily if I truly believed that this type of occurrence is common enough that it can be brushed off or that the majority of men wouldn't support me in refusing to accept that behavior as part of a social contract. Because, statistically unlikely as it may be, it still scares the shit out of me when someone starts touching me without my consent because I’ve seen how quickly things can go wrong and felt how quickly I was suddenly in a not great situation. If he goes away and I'm with my friends or boyfriend, I can feel safe again and get past it, but I just don’t know if we’re going to get to a place where strangers bigger than you grabbing you won’t generate a fight or flight response. Frankly, I don’t know if we want to get to a place where someone grabbing you is common enough that it won’t generate a fight or flight response.
In the end, for me, possibly scaring someone because you're horny is a dick move; frankly, even if they don't get scared (your experience), it's still a major dick move. Dick moves don't belong in the social contract, whether from men or from women, and regardless of whether we trust the crowd to defend us.

Hopefully, this didn’t derail things too much, but it was a point I wanted to make!

/r/TwoXChromosomes Thread Parent Link - feministsgonnafeminist.blogspot.de