I'm sorry, OP, but it doesn't work this way. "All you need to do is get him hard ... and all that's needed there is just some physical stimulation" is a statement that is not universally true.

There are assumptions here that should be addressed.

First, it's not just the responsibility of the HL female partner to "get him hard," as in, "... all you need to do is get him hard ... ." (Emphasis added.) That is something that presumes that the problem here is with the HL female partner, that the reason that an LL male isn't having sex is because his HL female partner doesn't get him hard.

Second, there is an assumption here that an erection is the answer to a DB between an HL woman and LL man. Most of the DBs that I've seen discussed here that involve an HL woman and LL man have little or nothing to do with the man's ability to achieve an erection. While some of them do involve erectile dysfunction and other physiological issues, most DBs that involve an HL woman and LL man cannot simply be solved with the arrival of an erection.

Third, the idea that sex is predicated on a man's erection is ... well, a bit shortsighted. Many men who can't achieve an erection -- for whatever reason -- willingly participate in sexual intimacy of all other sorts with their partners.

Finally, men and women communicate very, very differently, and keeping that conversation about sex open with an LL woman is a different endeavor altogether than keeping that conversation open about sex with an LL man. Many HL women will tell you that no matter how they approach the discussion about sex -- no matter how gently and without judgment, no matter how much sincere respect they show for their LL male partner's feelings, needs and ego, no matter how diplomatically and fairly they attempt to discuss the subject -- their LL male partner will feel antagonized to at least some extent, and that more often than not results in further shutting down by the LL male partner.

It is the reason for the overwhelming despair exhibited in so many posts here by HL women in DB situations. We often don't have communication available to us; attempts at keeping the lines of communication open often worsen the DB because men react very differently than women do to repeated discussions of the same topic. Science tells us that men and women are hardwired differently. While we're each capable of problem-solving equally well, men and women tend to approach problem-solving in different ways. Women are hard-wired to discuss; men are hard-wired to prove their competence. Guess what an LL man perceives himself to be in the discussion about why his HL partner isn't satisfied? Guess what happens when an LL man perceives that he is repeatedly being reminded that he is not competent? It's not a recipe for success.

Your original post is lovely -- honestly. You have a lot of good advice here that many people can take to heart. I wish that every bit of advice that you have worked for every DB situation. I'm beginning to realize, though, that there is a subset here -- many HL women with LL male partners -- for whom the DB is a far more complicated place than most people realize.