So this is interesting. In the past I've had emotional bonds with every woman I've been with but never could do relationships. When I'm in a relationship I have a history of pushing exclusivity too quickly. Then not reaching a state of intimacy deeper than what I have after a month. There's an aromanticim that comes wjth my prescriptions.

Around the time of my last failed relationship i started hanging around in nerd bars, to find guys to play chess with, and women to chill with. From 2019 onward I've met several women who are diagnosed, or self diagnosed ASD. They often were okay with vague casual relationships, and they often were involved with the kink community. When I'm hanging with these girls any pretense of being a normie is out the window. Except for when they invite me along but I politely decline. The one most heavily in the kink stuff will act out being a brat in public

The other woman was mildly into kink, didn't meet up with groups, and was definitely more focused on finding a LTR. I'm more emotionally xlose with her but shes 90mi away. Plus we used to do drugs together. She doesn't now and I dont wanna drag her down

Then there's the newest phenomenon that I feel more welcomed by lgbt women. I've had some lesbian role models. I performed in a circus with a lesbian couple and the Executive Chef at my restaurant was a lesbian. I'm going to her wedding in a couples months.

So now I've been meeting a lot of genderqueer feminine women who are pansexual and poly and using neutral pronouns. I met one of em who had three names.

Some of this is written glibly. I am using principles in deciding who to date. I'm mentally ill so I date the mentally ill. It's bot hard for me to find them in service work, or in life. There's so many tells. Simple stuff like heavier smoking, use of drugs other than weed. I've always found women with severe mental illness to be fascinating. Basically 90% of the women I'm ever interested in is mentally ill. Women will more readily seek treatment and are better at self preservation than men. Every larger loose association of drug users is 60-65% male. It's sketchy to try to date like that

So it's better to meet mentally ill and possibly drug users through the mental healthcare system, associated social groups, and in the workplace. That's if you're mentally ill of course. Seems like a good way to reject the dominant culture.