If someone drinks from time to time or likes to fire up a joint before a concert or while camping it’s not a deal breaker.
Yes, it is. And if you want to keep on track it will continue to be. Unfortunately there just is no fine line on the slippery slope back.
And you don't need to
present and preemptively explain your "faults" while you're still getting to know someone new,
devalue yourself at all, especially while you're still getting your life on track. Don't lie, but you don't owe this explanation to anyone at all.
I am clean since April 2004, no relapses, and had to work through a lot of "could have's" and "sorry it won't work out's".
I had dates and (too much) sex with new people during that time. But I was very lonely and craving a soulmate until I realized the three things I put above: no compromises on sobriety, no explanations for my sobriety beyond "it's just not good for me", no reasons owed.
YOU are meeting someone new.
You are worth taking the time it takes to get to know you, without a soul stripsearch upfront.
You don't get to just know everything about this person's private history either.