I'm terrified of talking to people. I've always found it hard to make friends. In kindergarten and 1st grade I made friends with a few kids and that made me really happy. But before 3rd grade started my parents put me in homeschooling for financial reasons ect. So I really never got to see those friends again ( I saw them during summer at like camps, but as time went by they moved on which really made me sad) although I attended this co-op every week I found it even harder to talk and make friends. I did make friends with 3 kids, then met with their friends so everything was good for about 2 years. But the co op disbanded so I saw my 3 friends less. I still saw them after that but as time went on one of the 3 friends, let's call him Bob moved one town over. After that my and his parents never made the effort to see each other again(I considered Bob my bff). I was friends with the other two, I'll call them Tom and Jim (they were twins fyi). But then there was a period we didn't see one another (us switching churches was the reason). fast forward to 5th grade, still homeschooled but no co op. I haven't seen Bob in 1 and a half years. And Tom and Jim in 1 year. We switched churches again and guess who went there too? Tom and Jim. That made me so happy I finally saw my friends again. A few months later I started going to the youth group with Jim and Tom (they've been here about a year) so I was always with them. But as time went on they stopped coming less and less to the group until they didn't come at all, which was hard because I only liked it because my two friends were there. (My parents made me keep going) It became really awkward going to, I didn't say anything and all the other kids were on their phones. "At least I see my friends Sunday" I thought every week. But two months later Tom and Jim stopped coming less and less just like the youth group, they were obviously not telling me something. So weeks go by with seeing them, and I still went to that youth group. Jim and Tom came every month until one Sunday we went out to lunch later that afternoon. During that lunch I learned they would be moving 16 hours away. Life as I knew it felt ruined. The next few months our mom's had us seeing each other (which that sounds like I hated it, but I was happy I got to see my friends before they went away) before they moved. My mom actually put effort into it unlike with Bob. So after they moved I felt sad and empty, I really had no one to talk to or confined in. We stayed at the church for about one more year until the "pastor" pulled the last straw for us. So my parents already have a church picked out (they've been planning it for a while) so the next Sunday we were supposed to go. I was very nervous, even though I had 0 friends at the other church and talked to zero people I didn't want to leave. I felt comfortable in a way and didn't want to go to a new place. So 8th grade and we vist this new church. After going to it for a while I got more comfortable, and my thoughts about the other church completely changed (I don't ever want to go back there). It's been a few months and I've had no contact with Tom or Jim. My birthday comes up and I get a birthday card and guess from who? Bob, at this point I haven't seen him in 1 years.

Fast forward now. It's been a year and I've not talked to Tom or Jim in a year now. Me and Bob write a letter every other month now (we have no phones). From 8th to 9th grade I got really depressed and sad thinking I'll never find a friend. I still experience some of that now but I still feel sad. Currently I have no friends except Bob, and my relationship with my parents is crap now. They're going to make me go to this prom thingy ma jiggy and I feel nervous about it. Does anyone have any advice on anything?