Having a boner doesn't always mean you're turned on.

Oh god, so many repressed memories bursting forth. The one that sticks out is 8th grade math. My teacher asked if anyone would like to come up to the board and show their work. I raise my hand as I was pretty confident in my answer. As soon as I do, boom, full mast erection. I immediately turn around, hoping someone else would be called. Nope, I was the only one with my hand up.

"Okay /u/I_choose_magikarp, let's see what you got."

I panicked and with all eyes on me I didn't even have the ability for the ole' texas tuck.

"No."

"No what?"

"I changed my mind, I don't want to go up."

"Don't worry about being wrong."

"Nope, I'm fine here."

"It's okay, /u/I_choose_magikarp, we'll work through the problem together."

"No, I'm really alright here."

The whole time just staring, unblinking, into his soul, hoping he understood my predicament. Eventually he seemed to understand this wasn't a case of shyness or nerves and let it go. But my god was my heart pounding through the whole ordeal, the entire class looking at me like I had blown a gasket. And all the while I was stiffer than a flag pole. Why? Because dicks be like that I guess.