As a 3w4:

- For one, even answering questions like this is tricky, lol. I instinctively give a much cheerier, prettied up version of my feelings, because I honestly can't just say it as it is but I'll try. That said, I still need to claim that this isn't as melodramatic as it sounds.

- High expectations become your reality, and the anxiety to reach them integrates itself in your daily routine. It doesn't fade out in the background, nor does it affect you less as time goes on, but you accept it because you believe that achievements and reaching those goals will quell your anxiety and make you feel better. That sometimes results in deferring enjoyment, until you disintegrate to 9 and indulge yourself too much. Your mind is hardwired to long-term gratification, sometimes to your detriment, until you finally let go.

- As I mentioned in my first point, the disconnect from your emotions is difficult too. It isn't that I don't feel or know my emotions, but I sort them out in the ones that are easy to handle and the ones I can't, the latter of which go in the repression box. Sometimes I'll revisit journal entries from years ago and will freshly relive all those emotions again because I never processed them. When I'll talk about my feeling and certain memories with someone and how I feel, and they say they didn't know I felt that way, I honestly go 'Me neither.'

- Whenever you let someone in and honestly talk about your feelings, you need a little disclaimer at the end, so no one thinks it's that bad. You also feel the need to give them the easier-to-accept version, like if someone were to very unsubtly ask me why I fear failure, I'd evade it with: 'Doesn't everyone?' instead of actually talking about how it affects my perceived worth. Appearing self-assured means more than being self-assured because you don't have to confront the reality that you're not.

- On the same page, you understand everyone else as complex people and don't view people superficially, but for whatever reason, you feel that everyone views you superficially. You feel the need to fit this ideal you'd never ask of anyone else, even if you disagree with the tenets that force you into the idea.

- In the same vein, you sort of begin believing you're your image because that's what you so desperately want, but it's still simultaneously gratifying and surprising you when you come off as effortlessly calm and charming to other people.