I was guilty of this. I was in over my head on my first story and was told to try to come up with a workaround instead of fixing the actual issue. However, I couldn’t come up with a way to make it work. I tried to relay my concerns to my senior, but I did a poor job in explaining what was happening. They would keep telling me to try things that I had already tried and tested. I eventually got frustrated with him and told him I think it’s impossible and got super defensive and tried to shut them down when they would come up with a solution. Essentially, my pride was dented, and I was embarrassed that I couldn’t come up with a solution. I channelled this into hostility and started lashing out. My senior was extremely patient, thankfully, and we have since worked past this, but I still get embarrassed when I think about it.

I think my main issue is that I was used to feeling like the smartest person in the room, and when I got this job, I was suddenly surrounded by loads of people that were definitely smarter than me. Getting my first job was an extremely humbling experience. I’ve come a long way through! Now, I seek out constructive criticism and regularly ask seniors for a second set of eyes when I’m totally unsure about something. I still have to occasionally put my ego in check, but it gets easier to do so every day.