Since I was very young I could not wait for the first real snow fall here every year. I get something hot to drink and sit outside alone and listen. I am so devoted to doing this that everyone I know, knows about it. It is my own holiday that changes every year. Surprise bonus holiday. Spring does nothing for me, just is. The first snowfall, that winter is here, nothing makes me feel more at peace with what all the ups and downs that are of being. That moment is like the last breath of a loved one. It fills you with dread of what is next, yet forces you to remember all that you love of life and why. It is the moment, for me personally, where I think I get closest to feeling what infinite must be like. I sincerely hope my own last breath will make me feel just that way. I want to remember it all.