I am terrified of death. Not just the normal fear of the unknown or fear of dying- i get panic attacks at the thought of my own non exsistance. I try as much as i can to keep my mind concentraiting on other stuff most of the time- but every so often, once every few weeks or so that though comes back i for a few moments i am almost paralized in fear and exsistential dread, and i feel like i need to start punching stuff or hurting myself to distracy my mind from it (didnt actually hurt myself until today but thought of it). Irs bot depression and im not suicidal- if a word to descripe the opposite of suicidal exsists that would be me. I would never sacrifice myself for another if it means risk of death, and if the option was provided to me somehow i would gladly sacrifice the entire rest of the planet to live 5 more minutes. In my mind i am immortal because of denial- but i cant escape it. I dodnt tell anyone yet and this is a throwaway but its the worst possible phobia someone could have- as it is the only one that there is no way of avoiding facing it.