I agree with OP. As a woman I'd like to offer up another perspective that may help out with this; There are a lot of men that expect women to cum worship like in porn, and not only is this pretty gross, for some women, a thoughtless/selfish partner may have ruined her for all thoughts cum-related.

As women we hear all the time from nastier crowds that 'a real woman swallows'. In reality, a real woman discusses her preferences with her partner, and they hopefully come to an understanding about how 'far' to go with cumshots, etc. But I can tell you as a woman that the number of men who simply expect to be able to cum on your face, in your mouth, etc are way too numerous. We can of course, blame the porn industry.

To provide some perspective, cum tastes like taking a shotglass of luke-warm flu snot. Some people are into it. Good for them.. personally, having had a partner who was one of the selfish assholes who acted offended if I did swallow, I'm 100% unable to be into it now. Esp because he had the most viciously nasty cum I'd ever tasted. (sry for too much detail)

Anyhow, Im only saying, if you're with someone and they seem downright phobic of certain acts or fluids, definitely talk to them. It may not legitimately be that they think YOU are gross, they may have just had some bad experiences. But also: Dont be the guy that forces porn acts into the bedroom. If you try and work with them on how you guys can potentially liven things up without the feelings of shame, it will get you a lot farther than simply writing the conversation off as a lost cause. As with all things, its all about communication.