Okay, it sincerely is very long and I happened to write a lot of it a few months back so I can copy/paste. Quick backstory first -- I was born and raised as one of Jehovah's Witnesses, but never believed it and was at all times feeling a sense of doubt and paranoia that the moment my family found out I'd be excommunicated. So I carried a huge ontological weight as a kid, and unfortunately one of my coping mechanisms was to try and disobey things as much and as subtly as I could, just in an attempt to regain any control over my life. The reason I don't have any teeth is actually from lack of hygiene and negligence; nothing to do with drugs; though ironically this came full circle because of a (what I consider religious) experience I had with DMT while a staunch atheist a few years out of my breaking out of the religion as a teenager.

I had done DMT twice before, about 6 months apart, and decided to do it a third time on a Friday night. It was a beautiful and very cosmetic experience -- so much so that I thought "I still have some, I could do it again on Sunday. Is that too soon?" And I briefly thought something might go wrong because I was being so impatient, but I shook that feeling off and decided to do it around noon that Sunday anyway and I went in expecting it to be much like the one I just had -- being shot through a wormhole into cosmic motherlight, feeling like you're on a lazy river ride through outer space or a red blood cell being pumped through the veins of a god, staring at clockwork the size of planets with atomic gears and levels/magnitudes of complexity that I honestly think is unimaginable prior to doing it. The thing about DMT is that it's almost like peering into the essence of mystery itself and it always subverts your expectations and current attention -- the reason that's important to know going into this is because it feels conscious or self-aware in some way (which is probably because you're being confronted with your own imagination as if tangible reality rather than saying the dimensions you'll go to are objectively real places in objective reality) that's extremely intimidating and awe-inspiring in the moment.

Here's where the trip starts: I smoke it and I feel the pressure rising through my spine, confirming to me that it's working. I lay back and close my eyes, expecting the same kind of tunnel you normally get "shot through" like a rocket, very abruptly. But there was none of that and the transition was instant -- I was in what seemed like a room, which itself was very odd because you're normally not in a location or around any recognizable objects (everything feels like you're in the middle of outer space and everything is completely alien, so no walls, no sky, no animals, no recognizable symbols or recognizable spatial area you inhabit because there's no body to inhabit that space, etc., it's very "not 3-dimensional") and the moment I realize this, I see a small dot appear right in front of my face. As I'm staring at it, it begins to shake and then multiplies like a cellular division into two identical dots -- then both rapidly do the same again, changing colors and this keeps cycling to create a large mass. They reminded me of playpen balls (because of the dull red, green, yellow, blue etc.) or the kinds of models used for Bohr atoms, and they were collecting into a sphere that looked like a miniature planet with a titan churning around and kicking to get outside of it's core as they multiply.

I'm staring at this sphere and I have the thought of them looking like playpen balls, then the entirety of the sphere bursts out to form a face -- and my heart instantly drops, because you never expect to meet an alien entity if you think of yourself as some rational and upstanding human being. So I instantly become fucking terrified at seeing something else that was conscious and wasn't human, the most scared I've ever been in my entire life, it's just an isolated face that's hovering and edges towards me but my mind is on a literal "HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT" loop -- I was frozen and I was literally thinking this like a broken record because I didn't know how to react and I couldn't react. The alien face was an amalgam of those molecules/playpen balls and it reminded me of the tiki mask from Crash Bandicoot in the way it looked like a caricature of a caricature or a cartoon's cartoon of a face -- it had giant, winged and golden eyebrows with beady, comically small green eyes and a triangular (as in a literal triangle) carrot-orange nose but it had no mouth. That's actually the most important part of this story that we'll come around to later.

It starts to wave around these eyebrows and tilt it's head playfully and inquisitively and is making all these facial gestures at me, communicating completely non-verbally and visually, but I'm still so shocked that I can't think straight or react. Suddenly it collapses into the sphere, multiplies another cycle, then unfolds into some kind of object to "show me." But it's so complex and I'm stunned by the design of it to the point I have no idea what it could be for, and just as I start to look at it as a whole to try and figure out what it is, it collapses into the sphere and does the same thing again, different object. Same reaction from me -- I don't have time to react or do anything other than be amazed at it and I have no idea what it could be for. This continues another two or three times, the only one I can remember much of I thought could have been a necklace because it had a very prominent oval shape that I thought might fit around a neckline. Collapse back into a sphere, then unfold the same face, this time it really cheeses up the eyebrows and moves in kind of a "What'dya think about that, huh?!" attitude, but I'm still fucking mortified at meeting an alien and having an ontological crisis so I'd be shivering uncontrollably and weeping if I had a physical form in reaction to all this.

After gesturing at me more with those tendrilly eyebrows, it collapses back into a sphere and repeats that same process as before. It seemed like it was showing me schematics or objects very excitedly but that are completely beyond my understanding, they disappear after one or two seconds worth of time and way too quickly to discern anything about them. Every time it forms a sphere, it multiplies in size and amount so the objects and the face are at a higher "resolution" of playpen balls being used like pixels. It eventually turns back into this winged eyebrow face, and this time I could actually gather my thoughts enough to literally speak in my head to myself, things like "Oh my god oh my god oh my god, say something! I've heard people talk about having conversations with 'entities' on DMT -- say something to it!" and it's looking at me almost in anticipation of this, raising and lowering the eyebrows and being very expressive in scrunching it's face.

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