To work in film and make movies.

Unfortunately you have to know the right people in order to break into the industry. For the past 4 years I haven't been able to make it happen. I'm not enough of a social butterfly I guess. And I never will be, that's just not who I am.

I also simply don't have the drive to make it work. You have to have long, sustained periods of trying to be able to break into the film industry on work ethic alone and not connections. I'll never have that. I think I'm finally at the acceptance phase of it. I work as a cook and I probably always will. I have no experience in anything else and my film degree isn't good for anything. I'll continue working shitty hours, lots of nights, lots of early mornings (sometimes back-to-back, oh how I love clopens), and I'll continue being too tired, physically and mentally, in my off-time to find a better paying, more consistent job that doesn't leave me drained after every shift.

This is my life now. Why get my hopes up assuming it's going to change any time soon