yeah...one of my best friends is AFAB but super gender nonconforming and I think a lot of people would be hard pressed to guess which gender he was assigned at birth (he’s partially detransitioned). when we go somewhere together he’ll use the women’s restroom because he’s read as female by association with me, but when he’s alone he doesn’t always feel safe using the women’s room (because people could assume what genitals he has and force him out bc of it) and he doesn’t feel safe using the men’s room (because men can get violent towards people whose gender they can’t determine).

I really, really feel for women who have had bad experiences in unisex restrooms; I also feel for people like my friend who have had bad experiences in single-gender restrooms. I don’t think either group should have to decide between going to the bathroom and their personal safety.