I sorta disagree here.

There's a massive difference between what people think they want, and what they actually want.

Yes, everyone wants someone who's decent, kind and funny. But before that, people want someone who's interesting. And decency and kindness, while important in everyone's life as far as I'm concerned, doesn't mean you're interesting. And if you're not, you make friends, you don't find partners.

Folks think the bar is low because they want people with their shit together, but that's after they became interested in them. You dated a psycho and momma's boy before, you wouldn't have if they didn't appear interesting.

And that's the bar dudes struggle with: appearing interesting. It's a skill, you gotta know how to sell and present yourself. Plenty of men and women with their shit together, yet they still wonder why no one's interested in them despite them apparently reaching the theoretical bar. It's because, while important, it's not the most important bar to reach in dating.