Half-asleep me is a fucking evil genius.

I set my alarm for 7:00AM, 1.5 hours before I need to leave for work.

I never remember the first 3 snoozes, but someone hears the alarm and hits the button. My concious mind doesn't even participate until 30 minutes into the war.

It's now 7:30AM and I'm drifting in-and-out of a dream that seems like it urgently needs me to stay.

If you wake up, you'll probably never figure out if that plane full of drugs and octopi makes it to Michigan.

The fan is blowing on my feet, so I tuck them into the blankets. Ohhh that's really warm.

You should appreciate the smaller things in life, take an extra couple minutes and just enjoy your blankets.

Okay, its 7:50, I should shower.

You showered yesterday afternoon, are you really dirty enough to warrant another shower? You could just lay here for another 20 minutes.

Now its 8:20AM. I'm pretty close to conquering my sleep demon. Better get up and brush my teeth.

But what about your head? Doesn't it ache? You could be having a migraine today, and you've got some extra sick hours. What's one day off gonna hurt?

This goes on every morning until somewhere between 8:20 and 8:30. Finally, I cast away the fog long enough to throw my blankets into the wall, out of my reach. I lay there motionless under the fan until the cold forces me out of bed. My hair looks like it just went through a belt sander, and my mouth tastes like three different kinds of shit.

Time to brush my teeth and shower simultaenously, throw on the first combination of shirt-shoe-pants I can find, and hopefully get to work at 9:05. Only 5 minutes late for the 86th day in a row.