I was in Australia on a work visa and I encountered the scariest moment in my life. I was traversing the mountainside with my pet Wallaby Winston Churchill Jr. when I came across an alligator the size of a pickup truck.

He didn't notice me, but I knew that if there were any sudden movements I would be done for. So, I told Winston Churchill Jr. to stay put so we could set up a diversion. I stood up, hip hopped the slim slammy, roasted the chickadee squash soup, hop scotched the boondoggle, flim flammed the oyster's legs, and finally topped it off by inserting the turmeric tornado and flickin' the ol' gator bean. I got out, but I will never forget it. Winston Churchill Jr. wasn't so lucky.