What behaviors instantly kill a conversation?

Well...for starters, my weekend was fabulous because none of you losers were there. I'm kidding not really...heh. Anyhoo, me and Karen, that's Karen from accounting, not Karen in receivables because we all know she's not very receptive! I'm kidding again, no, I'm really not. Anyhoo, we have a timeshare in Orlando, and Bob and I decided, why not catch a plane Friday afternoon? Oh, by the way cough cough I was sick, if Karen in accounting asks. Are we good? Are we solid? Heh...not you, you look soiled. I kid! I kid...not really, I can smell you from here Anyhoo, when we were in Orlando, we must have ran into a furry convention or something, because we got on this elevator, and there was Mickey and Minnie, and Goofy, and would you believe Donald Trump? He had a knife and...Oh, wait. I have it on my phone. Look. Here's a picture of my Bob picking me up from work. Isn't he so handsome? He opened his second Crossfit downtown, you all should go because you're looking chubby. I'm kidding, but you really all do look fat.

/r/AskReddit Thread Parent