During my freshman year of college I was lucky enough to get into “the nice dorms”. Each apartment had 8 students, so I was introduced to 8 different personalities. Two would become my best friends, while the other 6 - just fell out of touch. But there will always be that one guy who we will never forget. Let’s call him “Bryan”.
Bryan was a unique individual. He loved to mod xboxes and sell them on eBay. Which was kind of cool I guess. He made good money doing it, however there was just one thing about him that confused us. He never hung out with us when we drank or partied. He would just stay in his room and drink by himself or with his girlfriend. Let’s call her “Amelia”
One night, my two friends, another guy in our dorm (Pat), and I are hanging out with the girls down the hall. Now, it’s college and a Friday night - we are wasted. Pat on the other hand was obliterated. I’m talking “looking at the ceiling then looking at the floor while gagging” obliterated.
One of the girls exclaimed, “Nonononono!” So me and my two friends pick Pat up and drag him to our room. Thankfully he didn’t release during this process. We head into our apartment and go straight into the bathroom. We place Pat over the toilet and he starts praying to the Porcelain God. Full on confessions are going on. He sounded horrible. The bathroom was shared by the apartment so anyone could come in and out to witness our dear companion’s struggles. It was quite the sound.
Let’s reintroduce Amelia, Bryan’s girlfriend.
She comes running in, and she doesn’t care what’s going on with Pat, that’s clear to me and my friends because she’s crying pretty hard. So hard that she had these tiny wet spots on her shirt. She saw us and went straight into the shower to continue crying.
My friends and I look at each other with confusion, all while Pat is vomiting. The scene got a little more interesting when Bryan stumbles into the door frame of the bathroom entrance. He’s drunk. Very. Drunk.
“Amelia...Amelia. I’m sorry”
“SHUT UP. I CANT BELIEVE YOU DID THAT”
Our eyes got big.
Holy crap. Did he cheat on her!?
We’d leave, but Pat...we just can’t leave him. Right? Well, that’s what I thought. Anyways. Let’s continue with the conversation.
“Amelia....I’m. Sorry!”
She barges out of the shower grabs a toothbrush and starts brushing her teeth. Pretty vigorously.
“Amelia...”
“WHAT!?”
“I’m sorry I didn’t know”
“HOW COULD YOU NOT KNOW? ISNT IT A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT FEELING!?”
huh?
“...yeah”
“SO YOU ARE JUST THAT DRUNK!?”
It is at this time I ask “guys...is everything ok? What’s going on?”
She turns to me looking like a rabid animal with all that foam.
“WHAT’S GOING ON!? WHAT DO YOU THINK!? ACTUALLY NO!....LET ME ASK YOU...”
???
“If you’re getting a blow job, isn’t there a difference between having to cum and needing to pee?!”
Silence....then “BLLLLLLLEEEEEGGGH” (Pat)
It is then at that time she describes how she was going down on him and he pissed in her mouth.
“These arent tears!!” (The spots on her shirt).
It was impossible for my friends and me not to laugh at that.