oh crap. i have a good answer to this, but i can't share it.

let's just say, one of my oldest, dearest friends thought i was awesome. i had a secret that others knew (including the one it impacted) and it wasn't until years after it was no longer relevant that i dropped it on her, thinking it would be nothing.

she freaked the fuck out. sobbed hysterically. told me she couldn't look at me ever again and walked out of my house.

it took the person it ACTUALLY impacted to convince her everything was okay before she would speak to me again.

i deserved it, to be fair, but it was a reaction that surprised all of us, her most of all. i think in that moment i went from "the friend she most emulated" to "just another piece of shit human." our friendship survived, but she most definitely doesn't look at me the same way now.