My brother had treatment resistant depression and was at an extreme risk for suicide. Hospitalized twice, the 2nd a week after he got out for immediately trying when he got out. He started EST every month, then gradually spread out the treatments. At first, it was a miracle! He was like a different person, even he couldn't believe it. He had his life back.
And then the memory problems started. They got so bad, he had to quit school and his job, when originally he had neither and the therapy allowed him to obtain them again. He told me, "I have to choose between feeling better but living on disability unable to really live much, or die. And I'm going to die. And if you stop me you're incredibly selfish for guilting me into living in this pain. I just wanted to say goodbye." He left my house and I called the police. And I hated myself and wondered if what he said was actually true. I love him, I don't want him to suffer, but I couldn't give up either. Apparently, the short term memory issues don't happen to everyone, but the chance is high.
They stopped the treatment and kept him in patient in order to keep him alive while trying different meds. It took a year for his memory to come back. Now, he does ketamine therapy and he's doing amazing. We're still really close. So if you're considering this, yes it works and you might not have the side effects he did but just do your research.
Look into a DBS (deep brain stimulation) implant that has a very high sucess rate and less side effects. Also, there's a lot of recent research showing that treatment resistant depression may be an inflammatory response in the body after illness. A fecal transplant-I know it sounds crazy- but they get rid of all of your gut bacteria and repopulate it. Those patients were cured of their depression afterwards. There's also ketamine, which I've mentioned and many more new treatments depending on your history. Medication only works for 30% of patients. Meds and therapy combined work for 60%. That's still a low success rate and therapy takes a long time, too long for someone that is actively suicidal, or if not suicidal, just suffering daily. I struggle with depression, and found a combo of zoloft and wellbutrin to be the magic bullet. I feel for you. A lot of people don't know all the options for treatment and they just despair after meds don't work. So don't give up! I hope you get better friend!