-I'm easy to please: Buy me tacos. Touch my butt. Know when to be that sarcastic assface I so thoroughly enjoy, but also know when to say nice things. Don't be socially retarded. If you can at least try to accomplish these, I'm happy.
-If I like/love you, you'll know without a doubt. I will find a new and creative way to tell you just how incredible I think you are every chance I get. Plus I'm as loyal as the most loyal pet you've ever had.
-I'm hilarious as fuck. Probably not because I'm actually funny, but mostly because I think I'm the shit. When I try to tell a joke, I almost always start laughing before I can get it out because I'm imagining how funny you're gonna think it is.
-I fucking love to cuddle.
-I will always try my hardest to tell you when you're being a manly man doing manly things because I know you are also the shit, and you like to be made aware of this. However, I will also somehow gently inform you when you've been an asshole because I would want someone to tell me.
-I will spontaneously dance with you anywhere.
-I can hold my own in any group or one-on-one setting. You don't have to babysit me.
-I'm laid back. If you want to talk to me all the time, that's cool. I'm extroverted like nobody's everybody's business. But if you like your space? That's cool too; I have friends.
-I can have deep, thought-provoking conversations for hours on end. In fact, I encourage them. I like to think I have a good mind. (There's one of my famous jokes...)
-If you're upset, it will be my honor to cheer you up because I just love you so damn much.
-I will buy you tacos and touch your butt. (I won't ask anything of you without being willing to give it in return.)
I'm probably a shy guy's nightmare, and I'm not everybody's cup of tea. But hell, I'd date me. ;)