You have to be absolute scum to promote and encourage FWB after a breakup, whilst in the knowledge that the other person it is still very much emotionally tied to the relationship.

It is an entirely selfish act of blackmail: tantamount to telling the other person what you are allowed to feel, whilst ensuring they get the sex and freedom that they want, knowing that they have effective control over you.

You seemingly have no choice but to reluctantly accept, as life without them is too heartbreaking to contend with, and tearing apart your intertwined lives seems impossible to comprehend: without the other person, you have forgotten how to get through a day, let alone live.

But besides: this means they can't be serious about it, otherwise they would not want to see you at all. And anyway, this gives you an opportunity to make them come around; you will show them what they would be missing.

And each time you are having sex, you reaffirm to yourself: this intimacy has more meaning than just lust - you are so certain you can see it in the way they look at you, and the way you hold each other - this has more meaning than mere flings other people have.

And immediately after each time, you await the results: have I finally done it? Have I finally won them back over? They must have been overwhelmed by the intimacy back there... Right?

But then you notice it. The intimacy breaks. The snap in behaviour, that you don't recognise from when you were together with them. They pull away, in one way or another: physically, or perhaps a change in their tone of voice, or changing the subject, speaking as an independent 'I', not a joint 'we', or 'us'.

It strikes like a thunderbolt. You are not stupid. But you must be winning, and this happens less as less... Right?

Then it escalates, and you both seemingly go back to your 'separated' lives - but this surely is only just for now. You spend the rest of the day thinking about them, and what you can do to win them over. In your head, thinking up a million different possible situations you two could find yourselves, and the potential conversations you would have.

Then they text! You text back... They text you back! You are taking just like you used to. You are so, so close. You are winning. In fact, you have practically won. The two of you are practically behaving as a couple, all but in name. It just needs to be made official, and surely that will happen soon.

You are practically beaming on the outside, despite still feeling that sensation of dying on the inside, with that longing to be back together. You tell people you are a couple, because in the end, that is what you are, right?

Until the time comes. One way or another, it will come. And it will destroy you. You will crumple inside, and feel so, so, alone, and lost...

If you are lucky, someone else will tell you about someone else they have seen. If you are unlucky, they will tell you it themselves. If you are very unlucky, someone else will tell you that your supposed other half might be seeing someone else. But if you are the unluckiest person in the world: they will tell you themselves.

There is no way to prepare for that degree of heartache, and to be caught off guard with it, what do you say? Do you ignore your dignity to your future self, and start to cry, plead and beg? Or do you act like you are just fine, because, you are supposed to have been split up for a while now, remember.,.

The truth is, FWB is for friends, not lovers. Don't kid yourself, and more importantly, stand up for yourself, and the way you feel. "Sorry, I can't do that, I need to take care of my feelings". And in all seriousness, if there ever was something you could do to persuade them back, it would be the respect they gain for you, from showing this assertiveness, and letting them know: they cannot just have you, and do whatever they like.