This year has been a random mix-up. This is my first year I had been planning this for a year, and I never would have thought that my first semester of college would be like this. I used to spend a lot of time studying at the library, but now since this semester began and even before it honestly my life has changed a lot in this past year, and the pandemic and school and it all together just all comes together. It makes me think we work so hard on our degrees all the hours trying to get it in before the deadline I don't sleep at night some days I know I have 18 hrs to get an assignment in I stay awake. When I sleep 3 hours and then I set an alarm on a sunday. And I wake up and I see I have an essay to write on a textbook full of humanities, and I cram it all in, and it's like what is the point of working so hard if you sleep 3 hours feel exhausted feel so stressed for what. For what? Every week I do my school work and lose sleep it looks like a person toiling really hard to avoid being cast to hell. That's the amount of priority school gets, and now get a job and make a better wage some day. And then it's hard to find a job. Or then you discover you took a job that people say requires a college education and is totally worth it, but is it? Or is it the conditioning and the stress that makes us believe so. Look at lawyers they make a lot of money right? They sold their soul too right? I just hope to get a job that pays more, and one that pays enough that won't just pay, but is stress inducing body before money. Although convential logic tells you the body runs on money. It's not true. It feels like office space, You know peter gibbons I'm peter gibbons from office space I spend all the time adding the zeros to the software. More I could make with the friendships of people knowing what its like than the degree itself.