MIDDLE SCHOOL KEVIN:
-He tried to be a bully, but he was so unintimidating he got bullied because of it. All of his intended "victims" were then seen as extremely confident because they didn't care, and ended up having extremely hot girlfriends and became popular.
-He tried to pick a fight with his friend, who was the actual respected tough kid in school. His friend simply stood unfazed, and slapped him once. Kevin fell to the floor so fast it seemed fake, but it wasn't, and he broke his glasses.
-Kevin liked to curse a lot, but only ever seemed to do it when the teacher was in the room and facing his direction. So many trivial detentions could have been avoided if he kept his mouth shut.
-Kevin did not bring a pencil to class for the first month of school, and didn't understand why this was a problem.
-He rarely made it through a single class without being sent to an office. This class I had with him? Homeroom, a ten minute period.
-Towards the end of the year, he had massive burns down his arm. He didn't want to talk about it, but my hot girlfriend (thanks, Kevin!) heard from another student that he tried to make a flamethrower with a lighter and can of hairspray, but held it backwards.
KARATE SUMMER CAMP KEVIN:
-He really liked trading his change for different change. He would happily take a penny for his two quarters. I have no idea where he kept getting money, but he left each day with significantly less of it.
-He enjoyed badmouthing people in the middle of the gymnasium. EVERYONE. Nobody liked him, and he had no idea why.
-When told, "You rock!", he felt it necessary to clarify that he was not a rock.
-One day I had enough of his stupidity. As he went around insulting people, I decided to call him out on this. He decided he wanted to fight me, so he started charging towards me in a straight line as fast as he could. As he approached, I stepped to the side. He couldn't stop himself, and ran full speed into the wall, knocking himself out.
-When he came to, he turned to me, and said "Nice block!". From that point on, he was significantly cooler and less of a dick to people. Maybe the second strong hit to the head undid the brain damage we all suspected he sustained as a child.