There is no such thing as gender identity. You are, genetically and physically, a man. You will remain a man until the day you die. Nothing will change this fact.

I'm sorry you don't like your looks. However, there is no "rule" that you have to find yourself attractive. I'm sure there are tons of very attractive people who are not attracted to themselves. That's very normal for a heterosexual of either gender since, you know, you're not attracted to your own gender. I'm a woman and I am not at all into "pretty boys", I like my men manly and hairy. But I am very attracted to long hair on these manly man -- a fashion/style choice which many consider "feminine".

Get physically healthy, get mentally healthy, and people will find you attractive just as you are. Much love to you ❤️