So....what does it feel like for a female to have Asperger's or HFA? Because....

I'm not sure how much insight I can provide here, as I am a trans woman, but I think that I have a more female Autism. My symptoms mostly fit it better than the types seen in men, with the exception of the ones related to emotion. I think this may be due to the differences in how emotions are treated in boys vs girls. I spent the first 16 years of my life in a male social role, with all the expectations of being male on me. That includes things like not being emotional, and self-repression. This is only founded in my own personal experience though so take it was a grain of salt.

Other than that. Perfectly normal Autism. My "obsessions" tend to be short lived. More akin to sudden intense interests in certain subjects. Though, I love computers and World of Warcraft's lore and neither of those are leaving anytime soon. I also tend to enjoy incredibly morbid things, even to the point of being able to easily laugh at things that really shouldn't be funny.

I have sensory issues. Anything strong, sound, light, smells, feelings, etc. Dogs barking is the worst for me. I'm unsure if this is a meltdown, but this is the closest I'd say I've gotten to one.

My neighbor's dog was barking(High pitched, right next to my window), my mother's dogs then started barking, then every dog in the neighborhood started barking. My brother was talking to his friends on Teamspeak in his room across the hall and I couldn't hear what he was saying but for lack of a better word I could feel it. Like a low noise that you feel in your chest. I hate those types of noise. Suddenly, the standby lights on my monitors, and the light on my air conditioner, and the tiny amount of light coming into my room through the curtains, and under the door became like spotlights. I felt a rising panicked feeling along with a rising anger. Rage may describe it better, I'm unsure. I tried to cover my head with my blanket but the feeling of still air under it only made things worse. I had been trying to sleep for 4+ hours at the time too.

And then I punched myself. Pretty hard. A few times. With my right hand, on my right leg. Around the knee and lower thigh. It didn't bruise, but it did hurt a bit. And oddly enough it calmed me quite effectively. I then just laid in bed, I rocked a little as I tend to do when anxious, and eventually got to sleep.

Touching is a big issue for me. I don't like it, especially with things that are unintelligent/non-sentient. Animals, insects, etc. My family has dogs and one of them has a habit of touching. To get attention she bumps into you repeatedly, licks and bites at you, sometimes jumps. I sometimes have issues with leaving my room because I know she's going to do that to me and the feeling I get when she does that can only be described as utter disgust. I feel unclean when things touch me. I don't have any reason for this beyond ASD.

I don't like animals because their behavior is unpredictable.

I wouldn't describe myself as genderless, but I'm not feminine either. I don't wear makeup and have little intention of doing so, I don't care about what I wear as long as it's comfortable. It's hard to explain. I am sure that I am a woman, but I'm not outright feminine.

I'm a wreck socially. I have.. Maybe 4 friends, one that I've met in real life and that was over a year ago. I don't tend to enjoy face to face interactions.

I'm also in that terrible position of being too Autistic to be good with relationships, not Autistic enough to not care. I desire relationships, but I have trouble forming them. I've never been in a romantic relationship, and the outlook is grim.

I'm not sure what else to add. If you have any specific questions I'd love to answer them. I'm not great with general questions. Direction helps.

/r/aspergers Thread