First thing, I start living in survival mode. As the energy decreases more and more, I need to shut down anything superfluous, like human interactions: they're too tiring. Plus, I don't have anything to share anymore. Inside me everything is frozen.

But I'm efficient at my job and everyday duties. I know I have responsibilities, so I keep planning and organizing time slots in my weeks. The only difference is I execute the actions without even questioning them. I'm a robot, this time for real.

I think I lose the ability to make my facial expressions too. I try to remember that I have to smile when I talk to people at work, eyes included or it just feels too awkward for them. The only times I'm reminded of my human nature is when the duties become so heavy that I start feeling physical pain.

Moving is painful, it requires an incredible amount of energy. Was grocery shopping so hard earlier? Why walking 20 minutes back home feels like climbing Mt. Everest without oxygen?

Sometimes though, unexpectedly, I'm hit by a rush of energy and excitement for a new discovery, maybe a new interest that is so incredible to my curious mind that it just wakes me up from my lethargy.

I'm back on track, I want to learn, study, dive deep into my new mental world. It's that precious oxygen on Mt. Everest. It feels regenerative and gives clarity of mind. But unfortunately, it probably won't last past the night.

In fact, the next day the world is again covered by a blanket of fog. I get up, diligently go to work, pretend I care about it for as long as I have to, and just wait for the day I will wake up and see a bright, sunny day. Eventually, the sun always comes back.