I suppose it might have to do with the fact that only recently i started being truly involved and trying to get to know Christ more. Or mostly i would direct the cause of any conflict or negativity inward towards myself and hate myself lol

I do think almost everyday about myself burning in hell though lol... i used to not want to follow Christ cuz i didnt think i could be rid of sin freely and thus end up as a ‘fake christian’, being hypocritical. I still think like that sometimes and it makes me want to give up the whole thing... but recent times has ‘thrown’ me into the hands of God so im trying to stick with it. I mostly struggle with trying to feel close to God and ofc how to follow His commandments properly