I don't know, but if the first thing out of a guys mouth is about how he's never been with a black girl (common), how he loves some chocolate, how I'm pretty for a black girl (also very common), referring to me as a nubian/chocolate queen etc, then I assume he's simply got a fetish and I'm no longer interested. There are some demographics of women who seem to be okay with being racially fetishized (particularly by white men), but i'm not down with entertaining that foolishness.

And I imagine that a lot of big women don't want feel like you're only with them because of that one physical attribute. If you've ever heard people with fetishes go on and on about particular people they like (say, overweight people), then you'll know the difference between them and someone with a preference.

No shade intended, but a lot of dudes on reddit think that because they never receive compliments, never get hit on, or because they don't have anyone to tell them they're attractive, that we should all be okay with fetishized. That's not the case.