I have terrible mood swings and I feel like a failure 90% of the time. I feel like I am surrounded by people who don't get me and sometimes I even don't get myself. I try to put on a brave face but usually I just start crying and people are used to it and don't think much about it anymore. I can't get help because it's too expensive so I don't feel like I can talk to anyone. The main thing is that I feel I always fail what I set my goals on and I am so scared of the future. I don't have other hobbies than playing games and that doesn't help much. I went for a run today for the first time in 2 years. It was good but when I was back home I started feeling like shit again Will delete this later because I don't want anyone who kbows me to see it but it feels so good to get it off my chest. Thabk you op.